The Insulin Pump Phone and The Diabetic Cashier

So Today, almost like every day, i went to the grocery store after class. I am utterly incapable of writing a grocery list for a number of reasons, and thus resort to grocery shopping every other day. The first reason being, every time i write a list i misplace the list. Second, i never remember to even write the list in the first place. and finally, something about buying a week's worth of groceries and then seeing the total after everything is rung up, makes my stomach cringe. i don't like spending all my money in one place at one time, especially when it's whole foods. they should have discount prices for those with food allergies - i am essentially reduced to shopping at whole paycheck. therefore, i'm always at the grocery store.

anyways, one of the cashiers at whole foods "happens to have diabetes". by the way, i hate that phrase, but i employ it to satisfy my fellow pickier diabetics- the ones who claim "they aren't diabetics, rather they are people who happen to have diabetes." call it what you will, you have diabetes and thus, you're diabetic. but hey, i'll respect your label preference in writing.... but in spoken language, all that "happen to have" stuff is too much of a mouth-full for this diabetic!

where was i? oh yea, the cashier. anyways, since i go shopping everyday, i already come across as an oddball to most of the cashiers. but the diabetic one knows me. we have an understanding. but here's my conundrum, if i go to her aisle, i always feel like she's counting carbs with me as she slides my items across the counter. pizza: 63 carbs; loaf of bread: 27 carbs per slice; yogurt: 28 grams o carb... and then comes my habitual pint of ben&jerry's and the true sign i am a 'bad' diabetic. i am an ice-cream-a-holic. thus, when i go through her line, i am reduced to poking fun at myself and my bad diabetic-ness. she goes along, she's my age and understands that diabetics need their ice cream full just as much as any other. i don't think she even judges me. but because she's diabetic, her knowing that i'm buying ice cream, makes me judge me. and it drives me insane with guilt. i've even cut down on ice cream consumption to avoid this fateful circumstance. i buy more veggies and good things. and i just buy my ice cream at the cumbies market located a few blocks from my house :) whoops. but what am i to do? i am stuck for a number of reasons...

first, if i start using a different person's line, they'll judge me for being an ice cream addict rather than just a bad diabetic. and i'm not sure which is worse. the judgemental stares from whole foody types, telling me i should buy organic, vegan, fruit fly ice cream or... my diabetic cashier who most likely understands rather than judges, but by virtue of her diabetes, makes me weary? i've decided to stick with 'my people' and my diabetic cashier.

so anyways, today i did my routine dance with my diabetic cashier. we acted excited to see each other. we traded diabetic humor. we made elaborate plans for hanging out, both knowing it'd never pan out. the funny thing is, we canceled previously made, sensational plans and swapped with new plans for our grand diabetic pow-wow. it'll most likely never happen, just like we both never made it to the walk for diabetes. we decided it'd be better not to act as the token diabetics for our marching families, they could walk on their own. after all, that's what we do everyday anyways. sure enough, we appreciate our families' efforts, we just don't want to participate in anything remotely diabetic cultish- like diabetes camp, for example, now that was scary. but that's a story for a different post. nor do we want to fill ourselves with false hope. lets face it, i hope there's a cure coming, but i won't fool myself.

rather, i'll resort to humor. and here's where the insulin pump blackberry phone comes into play. my diabetic cashier and i decided, the solution to both grocery lists, blood sugar meters and insulin pumps is an all-in-one insulin pump-blood sugar meter- black-berry phone. it'd be fantastic! think of all the jokes:

-"if i don't answer my phone, it could be fatal - literally"
-"this call is life and death"
-"my phone's connected... and not just to a network"
-"can i borrow your phone? not unless you want to take me with it!"

and think of all the pluses,

- i'd never lose my cell or my grocery list again, because it'd be attached to me at my hip - literally!
-and talk about multitasking... imagine it... my pump would be blue-tooth capable. i wonder if i could voice command insulin doses?

and i wonder, if my pump was a blackberry... would it be against the GRE rules? what if i put it on silent?