can you feel the butterflies?

it's almost Tuesday people!!! i can't believe it- it's here. after 8 long years and what has been a political lifetime for myself, it is finally here- election day.

yesterday, i spent some time thinking back on my political memory. my first recollection being in 2nd grade, it was the election year face off between Bush 1 and Clinton. i made a sign in my second grade class protesting the reelection of Bush Senior. my teacher told me politics wasn't for the classroom- after one of my republican classmates cried about my sign. i regret i wasn't informed about my rights to display my sign and retreated to the back of the classroom. but in the back of my head, i always knew i was right.

i think after that incident my political conscious went into hibernation until the most recent Iraq war. 9/11 didn't even awake the sleeping lion. sure, i was shocked, but more at the personal loss than the broader implications of war.

the funny thing is, i remember the first gulf war. i remember looking at the tv screen in my classroom. and when i mentioned something about the war, my teacher turned and remarked, "it isn't a real war." this always fascinated me as a child. what constituted a 'real' war? when is war 'fake'? i've come to the personal conclusion that any time someone dies due to armed conflict, their death is attributable to war. it only takes one causality- one loss of life.

my childhood was pretty unremarkable in regards to politics. the only other protest i participated in was against barney- i really didn't like him. in 4th grade when timothy McVeigh blew up the Oklahoma city federal building, i went classroom to classroom raising money to donate to the red cross. i remember feeling pretty proud of myself for this ingenious initiative. i even raised enough money to plant a tree at my school in honor of the victims. although, i think the tree is dead now, along with everything else. the principle at my school asked me to give a speech at the memorial day parade on my good services to the people of Oklahoma. all i remember was i mixed up my index cards, failed to improv and embarrassed myself miserably. i figured i'd just stick to fund raising after that point- it seemed to be my forte.

at community college, i stole a peace professor's wind during a planned protest for teacher contracts. no one showed up at the meeting location- the main lobby to the school. no one was paying attention and time was running out before the local press arrived. the few people waiting were confused, so i naturally decided to take over. i told people entering the building to sit down with me- and for some odd reason they did. once i got a couple hundred people sitting, i explained the cause. then i led them out the door to the front steps, chanting some catchy gimmick i made up in my head seconds before. the press arrived, all went well and the teachers eventually got their contracts. but the thing that really peeved me, was the fact the teacher in the peace studies department actually got mad at me because it was suppose to be a silent protest. i told the professor to her face, if she had really wanted to be the leader of this protest, she should have showed up on time to the meet point- organized. instead, she showed up 45 minutes too late and the protest took on a life of it's own. it was no longer silent and she shouldn't try to silence the will of the people anyways. she didn't get it. whatever, in the end the press interviewed her and i just stood amongst the crowd - where i felt i belonged anyways. we chanted more songs behind her during her interviews. it was a good day.

but like i said, my life was never too remarkably political in comparison to the life of a refugee- for example. but now things are different. i realize, everything i do is political. and Tuesday is by far the most omnipresent day in politics, in my short life.

Tuesday is the second election I've ever voted in. The first being 2004. and honestly, after 2004 i vowed never to vote again. what a horrible election- not as bad, technically, as 2000... but psychologically worse. how could we elect him again? i had really believed my vote counted. but it didn't.

but this Tuesday, my vote does count. whether or not we win, i know my vote counts. and i know this change is real. and i know Obama means business. and i believe in him like i've never believed in a politician before, aside from Ted Kennedy. this is real. we will elect Obama. and once again, we will make government what it ought to be, a defender of the people, for the people and by the people.